I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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