if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
