i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
