how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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