I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
where are my eyebrows?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
