Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
