At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
