You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
