please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
