Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
