Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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