Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
