dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
