I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
