the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
