Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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