get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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