She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
