No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
