Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
