I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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