the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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