Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
