Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
