i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
