You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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