You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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