Im at strip club and am horny
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
