Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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