if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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