Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
