Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
