I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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