I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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