i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
