A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
