Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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