So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
