I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
