I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
