also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
