no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
