Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
