im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
