she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
