Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize