someone owes me an orgasm
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
