I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
