I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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