I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
