it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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