you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
