those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
