Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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