Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
