when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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