I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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