So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
