Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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