i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You can't just leave with hair like that
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
