Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
