they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
