i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
