we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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