His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
