I just saw a hot homeless man
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
